005: Better than the Treadmill
Because literally anything is better than the treadmill.
Happy holidays everyone and welcome back to The Local Legend: the propaganda hub for Flathead Valley run culture. If you haven’t noticed one of these bad boys in your inbox since June, that’s because that’s when I sent the last one! It was a long and busy summer, but now it’s December and bucketing rain outside, so like, what excuse do I really have?
I hope you’re getting stoked for the 2023 season as race sign up windows are coming online. And if you’re not stoked, maybe this occasionally published, mostly sarcastic, and positively unedited newsletter will help boost your spirits. And if it doesn’t, then my friend, not even Liam Neeson can save you.
Anyway, if you got forwarded this from a friend or clicked on a link online, go ahead and subscribe to us so we can roll up into your inbox next time:
With that, let’s dive in.
CIM Recap
At the start of December, a crew of local runners made the trek down to beautiful, tropical, and downright blessed Sacramento to run the California International Marathon. It was a fun weekend of family meals, croissants, James Bond, Nuun tablets, and of course, the fastest marathon out there.
For a full recap of the antics, check out our IG highlight from CIM here. To celebrate each finisher’s results, keep reading:
Micah Drew
After running a zesty PR in 2021 on the same course, Micah returned to CIM in 2022 and dropped the hammer yet again to finish in a time of 2:26:29. He’s moving closer and closer to that OTQ and we’re cheering him on!
Mike Ortley
Mike Ortley stock has been on the rise for a couple of years now, and his PR of 2:45:23 at CIM only adds to the hype. Brisket! 50 mile ultramarathons! Creating a remote job that doesn’t exist by simply moving to Montana! What can’t this man do?
Pete Heyboer
Pete has had a runner’s year from paradise. He started off his racing season at Boston, made the trek out to Cham for UTMB, and capped the year off with another all-time race at CIM. He finished in 2:48:14, an insanely impressive time and PR.
Garrett Bloom
Garrett put in an awesome block of training heading into CIM this year and it paid off massively, notching him his desired BQ in 3:07:50. We’re stoked to see him take on the Boston course!
Colton Born
AKA: me. I went to CIM hoping to sneak under 3 hours, and feeling fit enough to do so. Unfortunately, the day didn’t go that way and I ended up jogging it in at 3:12 something lol. Though the race didn’t go how I wanted, the trip was still a massive highlight of my year and I enjoyed spending great time with such awesome people!
Here we are enjoying each others’ company after the race!
In closing this recap, the boys would like to recognize Betsy for being crew chief, director of snacks, and all around amazing supporter of all of us during race weekend! We certainly couldn’t have done it without you.
Crazy Mountain 100 Showdown
As many of you know, I have a strange fascination with Montana’s newest ultra (and only hundred-miler) the Crazy Mountain 100. This week, I chatted with James Pyke (in the pouring rain) on the skintrack up Big Mountain. He was recounting to me some of the glory and suffering he and many others experienced on the course this summer. Long story short, the whole things sounds pretty damn hard.
All this to say, I was elated to discover that, for 2023, another one of our fellow Flathead runners is making the trip out to the beautiful metropolis of Lennep to compete in the event: Ryan Skotnicki.
Who is Ryan Skotnicki? No, for real, I’m asking.
Even though he may be one of the most capable runners in the Flathead, with an impressive resume of strong finishes at several name-brand events such as The Rut, The Trail Marathon Championships in Moab, and the Whistler Alpine Meadows 100k, Ryan is somewhat of an unknown entity. He’s been recognized for his quiet demeanor, strict training regimen, and titling runs that would put me in the ER ‘easy’. All of the Skotnicki legend and lore aside, I’m pumped to see him in this race and think he has strong chances to compete for the top spot.
The runner who poses the biggest challenge to Ryan is actually the only other runner in the state of Montana with an equally ambiguous online presence: Mike Wolfe (aka: the only Doritos bag on Instagram with 6k followers).
Most people know Mike Wolfe as the crusher who put Montana trail running on the map years ago, and served as inspiration for runners like Jim Walmsley as he competed in local races during his stint in Great Falls.
Now, he’s gotta be like 90 years old. However, just like a bag of Doritos, there’s no expiration date on excellence. It’ll be exciting to see him tow the line alongside Ryan and the rest of the field in July.
Beyond these two studs, I’d also like to shoutout Aidan Jarvis, who’s coming off of a great win this last year at the Elkhorn 50 mile in Helena. Aidan is a local guy from Columbia Falls who’s definitely looking to put down a fast time in his debut 100. He’ll be a fun dark horse to root for come this summer.
Ed Teide Trip Report by Cody Moore
Cody recently returned stateside from a long trip through multiple European countries, including Spain, where he summited El Teide, the highest peak in the country. If you’d like to learn more about this outing and his other far flung antics (mostly fartleks and complaining about tired quads) check out his Strava.
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At 5:30am, the gas gauge on the moped signaled a hair under a quarter tank. I’d been on the road about 45 minutes through the moonlight on the island of Tenerife, in the Canaries. I left my coastal air BnB in the wee hours of the morning, with only sounds of the waves lapping the rocks and the crow of the 4am rooster in the village of La Jaca. I pointed the moped up, aiming for the volcanic island’s high point, El Teide.
Mount Teide also happens to be the highest point in the nation of Spain at 12,192ft, despite being 800 miles from the European continent. I’d filled the scooter’s tank the evening before, but now, with 15 miles of driving left before the trailhead (and 15 miles back to the nearest petrol station), I was questioning if I could make it there and back again. Rounding a bend and getting a view of the downward sloping road ahead, I switched the scooter engine off and coasted through the night. By using the engine on the ups and flats, and coasting the downs, I figured I could hypermile my way to the trailhead.
Sure enough, at 7800ft the trailhead (along with tons of euro-style toy cars) popped out of the scooter’s headlight. A quick transition into a running vest, a last sip of water, and off I jogged into the volcanic wasteland on the northeast flank of the mountain.
The trail was wide and well traveled, and tiny headlamp pin-pricks above revealed the climbers who had gotten an earlier start. Soon the real climbing started, up a steeply switchbacking path of sharp volcanic rock and sand soils. As the sky faded towards blue, several other volcanic peaks of the Canary archipelago poked through the cloud layer hanging above the ocean. Soon the sun began to send streaks of pinks, purples, and oranges into the stratosphere. Halfway up I passed the Alta Vista hut, an alpine-style mountain hut carved out of the rock where trekkers could spend the night. Nearing the summit, a few patches of ice and snow appeared on shady aspects, and the smell of sulfur started to twinge the air.
The trail began to flatten out and traverse the side of the volcanic cone, towards the upper cable car station. How European is it that you can take a cable car within 1000ft of the highest point in the nation? I checked my watch. It was 8:38am, meaning I had 22 minutes to get up and back down before the park service began checking summit permits. Due to the cable car access, the Spanish government allows only 200 people per day to reach the summit of El Teide, stopping to check passes about 600 vertical feet below the summit cone between 9am and 5pm.
Up I went, topping out at 12,198ft on the lip of the caldera. The pyramid-shaped shadow of the cone stretched out to the Atlantic Ocean below. Small fumaroles in the volcano’s vented sulfuric gas. The rising sun illuminated the desert below, fading down the mountainous slopes to jungle and rocky coastlines; a stunning panorama fitting for a high point.
I descended back to the top of the cable car with 8 minutes to spare before the checkpoint opened, and stopped to scarf down a chocolate croissant and a banana from the pack. As recommended by fellow Flathead local Jason Blyth, I continued the traverse of the mountain over to a neighboring extinct volcano, Pico Veijo, on much quieter trails. A massive caldera yawned out from the summit lip of Pico Veijo, spanning over a half mile across.
The descent from the saddle on the two peaks wound through and across ancient lava flows and rock slides, down to islands of rocky crags known as the Roques de Garcia. A few road miles dodging Vespas and cyclists led me back to the scooter and a successful loop of the volcanic pinnacle of Spain. And with a little luck (and a little more coasting) the scooter made it back to the petrol station with 100ml of fuel to spare.
Thank you Cody for taking the time to write! Also! If you do something cool and would like to share it on the newsletter, email us at hellroaringrunclub@gmail.com and we’ll throw it in the next one! We’d love to share more of our club’s stories in the new year.
Upcoming Calendar
Rut signup day: 8 AM; 10 January 2023
RUFA Missoula: 2 February 2023
Whitefish Whiteout: 11 February 2023
Snow Joke Half Marathon: 25 February 2023
In Closing
Well folks, it’s been fun, but now I need to go find a treadmill. Oh, the irony. I hope to put a few more of these in your inbox come 2023. So keep your eyes peeled, and let your friends know about this kooky little newsletter!
Happy New Year and RLH,
HRC
(PS: if you liked this, sub below! byyyyeeee)
You forgot to include your name in the Crazy 100 lineup.